Delivery Day to Labor Day

Back in May, I wrote this post on weight and body image. I promised that I would do a check in around Labor Day updating on how I’ve done with getting back to a weight that I feel more comfortable with.  Continue reading

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Paternity Leave


When we lived in Kansas City, Brad worked for a department that was short-staffed and overworked at the time.  He was only 24 and I was still a baby at 22, we lived about 8 hours from all of our family when Marshall was born.  The day we came home from the hospital- less than 48 hours after giving birth to our first- Brad went back to work leaving me alone with this new little life to figure out how to take care of.  All while healing myself.  He was disappointed that he didn’t get as much bonding time with his new son as he would like, but we needed the income and feared him losing his job if he didn’t return to work asap.  We made it work, but it was hard and stressful on the both of us.

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Postpartum Healing

The big day came and went; the baby is here, the announcement has been made, and visitors are clamoring to get their first look at the new addition.  But there is a key element missing in all of this: the mama.  See, all throughout your pregnancy people love to tell horror stories of labor and sleepless newborn nights (don’t fret, all my labors and early newborn days have been pretty awesome) but few give their tips, tricks, and what to expect for mom’s self-care after delivery. So here’s the down and dirty on what to expect and how to make healing a bit less daunting postpartum. Continue reading

Baby Number _?

Sometimes I struggle with what number pregnancy I should call this.  At every doctor’s appointment and ultrasound I’m asked “And what number pregnancy is this?”  There, I know I am to include all my pregnancies.  Even those I never got to bring home.  “Six.” I say, it still stings every time the words fall from my lips.  “And how many live births have you had?” Sometimes they say this with a smile, but most of the time when a person as young as me has had so many pregnancies they know the numbers won’t match.  “Two.” why can’t I look them in the eye when I say this?  I still carry some shame, still blame myself.  I know it’s ridiculous, I know it makes no sense but grief- even when healed- doesn’t make sense. Continue reading